Meaning
The phrase compares parents to a nest after the chicks have flown. It belongs to the launching stage of the family life cycle and can coincide with menopause, caring for aging parents and retirement planning. It is generally seen as a normal transitional reaction rather than an illness.
Common reactions
- Sadness, loneliness, emptiness
- Identity questions and loss of purpose
- Worry about the child and frequent contact
- Readjustment of the marriage, surfacing conflict or renewed closeness
If low mood with sleep problems or difficulty functioning lasts more than two weeks, seeing a professional is advised.
Risk factors
- Identity built heavily around parenting
- A weak marriage or few social ties, work or interests
- A child leaving earlier or more suddenly than expected
Research
Longitudinal work found that marital satisfaction often rises after children leave (Gorchoff et al., 2008), and many parents report new freedom and growth. From an Eriksonian view, midlife generativity can be found beyond child-rearing; Bowen theory suggests better differentiation between parent and child eases the transition.
Coping
- Acknowledge feelings and talk with a partner or friends
- Invest time in the couple relationship
- Set new goals in work, study, volunteering or hobbies
- Shift to an adult-to-adult relationship with the child
References
- Gorchoff, S. M., John, O. P., & Helson, R. (2008). Contextualizing change in marital satisfaction during middle age: An 18-year longitudinal study. Psychological Science, 19(11), 1194-1200.
- Mitchell, B. A., & Lovegreen, L. D. (2009). The empty nest syndrome in midlife families: A multimethod exploration of parental gender differences and cultural dynamics. Journal of Family Issues, 30(12), 1651-1670.
- Carter, B., & McGoldrick, M. (Eds.). (2005). The Expanded Family Life Cycle (3rd ed.). Allyn & Bacon.
- Erikson, E. H. (1963). Childhood and Society (2nd ed.). W. W. Norton.