What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is psychological manipulation that makes another person distrust their own memory, perception and judgment, so that they gradually depend on the manipulator. It often occurs in relationships with a power imbalance, such as romantic partners, families and workplaces, and is treated as a form of emotional abuse. It is not a psychiatric diagnosis, but the term is widely used in counseling and in work on intimate partner violence.
- Meaning
- Manipulation that makes someone doubt themselves
- Origin
- Patrick Hamilton’s play Gas Light (1938) and the 1944 film
- Where it occurs
- Partners, families, workplaces and other unequal relationships
- Nature
- A form of emotional abuse
Origin of the term
The word comes from British writer Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 play Gas Light. A husband secretly dims the gas lights in the house, then insists his wife is imagining it when she notices, until she comes to believe she is losing her mind. George Cukor’s 1944 film adaptation made the story widely known.
Common warning signs
| What the abuser says | Intended effect |
|---|---|
| "That never happened. You’re remembering it wrong." | Doubt about memory |
| "You’re being too sensitive." | Dismissing feelings |
| "Your friends are just using you." | Isolation from others |
| "I’m the only one who puts up with you." | Dependence on the abuser |
Targets often find themselves asking "Am I the problem?", apologizing constantly and struggling to make decisions alone. Over time this can resemble learned helplessness.
A sociological view
Is gaslighting just about individual personalities? Sociologist Paige Sweet (2019) argued that gaslighting should be understood not only as a psychological problem but within social inequalities. Gender stereotypes, such as the idea that women are emotional and irrational, give abusers a tool for making victims seem unreliable, and economic and institutional power differences strengthen it.
So recognizing gaslighting means looking at the power structure of the whole relationship, not just single remarks.
Coping and getting help
- Keep records: noting dates, events and what was said helps protect your own memory.
- Check with trusted people: talk with friends or family outside the relationship to reality-test.
- Contact a hotline: in the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
Frequently asked questions
- What is gaslighting?
- It is psychological manipulation that makes someone doubt their memory, perception and judgment, increasing their dependence on the manipulator.
- Where does the term gaslighting come from?
- From Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 play Gas Light and its 1944 film version, in which a husband dims the gas lights and tells his wife she is imagining it.
- Where can I get help in the US?
- The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) offers 24/7 support. Call 911 in an emergency.
References
- Sweet, P. L. (2019). The sociology of gaslighting. American Sociological Review, 84(5), 851–875. https://doi.org/10.1177/0003122419874843
- Hamilton, P. (1938). Gas Light [Play]. London.
- Cukor, G. (Director). (1944). Gaslight [Film]. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.