The motive to expand
Aron and Aron (1986) posit a motive to gain resources and perspectives, akin to self-efficacy; Aron et al. (1995) found self-concepts diversify after falling in love.
Including other in the self
Aron et al. (1991) showed self–other confusion; the IOS scale (Aron et al., 1992) measures closeness, alongside triangular love and adult attachment.
Satisfaction
Novel shared activities raise satisfaction (Aron et al., 2000, 2002); Aron et al. (2013) review applications.
FAQ
- What is it in simple terms?
- Close relationships make you feel bigger by adding a partner's world to yours.
- How to fight boredom in long relationships?
- Doing new, exciting things together restarts self-expansion.
Sources reviewed: 2026-10-26
References
- Aron, A., & Aron, E. N. (1986). Love and the expansion of self: Understanding attraction and satisfaction. Hemisphere. The book that first proposed the model and its core motive.
- Aron, A., Aron, E. N., Tudor, M., & Nelson, G. (1991). Close relationships as including other in the self. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(2), 241–253. Experimental evidence that close others are included in the self.
- Aron, A., Aron, E. N., & Smollan, D. (1992). Inclusion of Other in the Self Scale and the structure of interpersonal closeness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 63(4), 596–612. Introduces the IOS scale of overlapping circles.
- Aron, A., Paris, M., & Aron, E. N. (1995). Falling in love: Prospective studies of self-concept change. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(6), 1102–1112. Longitudinal evidence that falling in love expands the self-concept.
- Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples' shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 273–284. Experiments showing novel shared activities boost relationship quality.
- Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., & Lewandowski, G. (2002). Shared participation in self-expanding activities: Positive effects on experienced marital quality. In P. Noller & J. A. Feeney (Eds.), Understanding marriage (pp. 177–194). Cambridge University Press. A chapter on countering boredom in long-term relationships.
- Aron, A., Lewandowski, G. W., Jr., Mashek, D., & Aron, E. N. (2013). The self-expansion model of motivation and cognition in close relationships. In J. A. Simpson & L. Campbell (Eds.), The Oxford handbook of close relationships. Oxford University Press. A handbook chapter reviewing the model's motivational and cognitive principles.